i had a wonderful conversation with a treasure of a friend the other day. we discussed what our versions of life looked like, and how, as much as we wanted our lives to play out a specific way, that isn’t always God’s plan for us. i was vulnerable with her in this moment with something that i have been struggling with for a very long time.
it has taken me years to unequate my happiness with God’s love for me.
as much as my Savior loves and cherishes me, His ultimate plan for my life is not satisfaction in the fleeting desires of flesh.
the joy that overflows from my heart is not simply because He gives me what i ask- because that is not always the case.
God’s priority is NOT my happiness.
but- that does not mean that His goal is for His children to live a miserable life filled with hopelessness and despair.
He longs for us to live in such a way that reflects Himself and gives Him all the glory.
living in state of continually worshipping Christ is not always perfect. it’s not always pretty. and it’s definitely not always fun.
there will be points in life where i am wondering what the heck He is doing, but i am reassured in the fact that this is a temporary pain that will be soon covered in His sacrifice for me when i part from this world.
i want to be happy. i want to live a life that i deem worthy of living.
but what i want more than anything else is to pursue God and let things fall in place, whatever that may be.
God wants me to live for him, and when i truly do, i am overcome with joy that is constant through pain and suffering.
that is what my God can do. that is who my God is.